Konoha Commercials
by Mad-4-Manga
Summary: Making fun of our commercial culture and our reactions to it, all in the world of Naruto with Naruto's characters. Expect to be bombarded with allusions to the nth degree and dangerous OOCity. Warnings inside.


M4M: YAT-TA! -Throws pixi stix to readers in celebration-

n..n

This all started in an email between my Japanese Club president and me. It didn't occur to me until about the tenth time I replied back that I could turn this into a quick fan fic! Anywho, Mitch agreed and here I am!

Warnings: Crack fic,adult material,**very** mild shonen-ai, allusions to the tenth degree, drugs, chafing, violence, innapropriate thoughts, cannibalism, zombies, commercial parodies, mild fourth wall breakage, character death, funny, snake whores that die,and plot bunnies on crack and sugar simultaneously.

Enjoy!

**Konoha Commercials.**

**Because one can't get enough of them in real life.**

n.n

_Presented by:_

_Mad-4-Manga_

with the ideas of Mitch

**Chapter:**

**So Sasuke Turns on the t.v.**

**So Chouji Turns on the t.v.**

**So Naruto Turns on the t.v.**

**So Sakura Turns on the t.v.**

**So Kakashi Turns on the t.v.**

**So Konoha Turns on the t.v.**

**So Blank Turns on the t.v.**

**So I think you get it now.**

**So Itachi might turn on the t.v., who knows.**

**So you might decide to review this.**

**So then I don't have to brainwash you to do it.**

**So of course, you'll have turned on the t.v. by now.**

**So, I have already brainwashed you.**

**So, review.**

**(After you've finished reading this of course)**

Bored, and with nothing but cleaning to do, Sasuke turned on the t.v., and what do you know?

Commercials.

_Ninja_ commercials.

'Ninjatise me Captain!' rang out the little boy's voice cheerfully to the cereal Ninja Captain.

Sasuke made a note on the pad of Post-Its he carried with himself and put it in his underwear.(1) Buy more Ninja Crunch. He was running low. (Okay, so he wasn't really running low on it, but HEY! Anytime, and the sun could sputter out of existence, life as Konoha knew it would die, and the grocery stores would be ransacked, factories would stop, and Sasuke wouldn't have to worry about running out of his favorite cereal!)

Sooo... maybe Sasuke was a teensy bit paranoid, but maybe Itachi would die when life as Konoha knew it died.

**o**

-_Scene Change-_

**o**

Chouji turned on his t.v. to relax with one of his favorite t.v. snacks- a hotdog with condiments. And what do you suppose was on?

Commercials.

_Ninja_ comercials.

'Smile, you've got Ninja's!' shouted a happy off-scene voice as the Ninja brand of mustard was shown.

Chouji smiled, and made a mental note to buy more Ninja mustard. No, he wasn't paranoid that the world would end, like _some_ people. He would just run out of it by the time he got back from buying it. Chouji poured more ninja mustard on his hotdog and happily munched on, watching his favorite shows.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

Naruto had finally set up his cable and he was determined to enjoy it!

Switching it on, he found the things-- called commercials-- on that he constantly heard about.

Some found them annoying.

Naruto hoped he could learn from his new sensei.

'Silly samurai! Ninjas are for kids!' Reprimanded a cute cartoon kid to a little cartoon bunny in samurai armor.

"**WHAT!**"

Naruto was furious! Who dared to say that ninja and jutsu were only for kids! He felt himself grow even madder, and heard the distinct ripping of his clothing.

"**NARU-KYU. ANGRY!**"

A humongous, red, hulking thing ripped its way out of an apartment and angrily made its way to _Jutsu Cereal_ Headquarters. (2)

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

Chouji looked on in worshipful eyes at what his beautiful t.v. had revealed to him.

'Nin-Way, eat Stealth!'

A way to lose weight so others wouldn't bug him anymore, AND a way to become more standard ninja-ed so people wouldn't bother him anymore!

He just needed to get himself there first.

Deciding to ask Shikamaru about where Nin-Way was later when he came over, Chouji relaxed back into the chair.

Unbeknownst to him, this would save his life from dying by a massive red thing that grunted and made angry noises.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

'It's 11PM, do you know where your ninjas are?'

Shikamaru was watching t.v. today, (it was very blue out) and watched a little warily as his mom charged out of the kitchen upon hearing the commercial, intent upon finding her husband.

Mendokusai yo, it was 11 **AM**. (3) Troublesome t.v. Troublesome women.

Shikamaru turned off the t.v. and decided to see what Chouji was up to, not forgetting to leave a Post-It note for his mother telling her where he had gone.

Unbeknownst to him (until it happened of course) this would put him in a position where he would be forced to control a raging red monster. Making him say "Troublesome" for the next ten years over the incident and imposing hermitude upon himself at Chouji's.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

'Got Ninja?'

"I will soon enough!" Sakura cackled as she stirred her foaming yellowpotion in the red cauldron.

Ten minutes later, she pulled a shiny red apple out of the wicked brew and bickered with herself on how best to present it to Sasuke. **Her** Sasuke. Now and would be forever in the shiny, transparent, cryogenic casket she had prepared for him. Once she got the apple down his lovely little throat though. Evil cackling once more filled her room. (4)

_Cough._

She really should get herself some _Ninja's Defense_. Would really help soothe her throat. (5)

**o**

People do stupid things, that's why there're Ninjas. (6)

**o _Scene Change_ o**

Ninja fifteen minutes or more could save _you_ money on missions! (7)

**o**

Kakashi stood in Mc Ninja- the Irish-nin fast food restaurant. (8) A glamorous girl just about fifteen was taking his order. In a nasally voice.

Unknownst to everybody, nasally voices like hers turned him on, which was how he ended up flirting with her shamelessly. Which just made her sound more nasally, which made him flirt with her more.

"Would you like to ninja-size that?"

He could definitely hear _that _voice 24/7, "How old are you lovely lady of my dreams?"

"Fifteen" she sputtered out, giving him a look that said, "Are you crazy?"

Oh wait she had said that. And _curse_ those 'no dating kids if you're not one' rules!(9) His shoulders slouched down to the ground since his shoulders were already slouched so much that they were just that close to the ground to rest on it.

Or he was just Mr. Stretchy from the Incredible Four! (10)

A flash of red was seen out of the corner of his eye, and Kakashi ran out, shoulders slung over his back, to see what all the delicious sounding commotion outside was about.

The cashier person sighed with relief and peeled off her face? o.O Oh, it was Iruka. And _girl_, was she happy, and thanked her kunai for her great actress skillz...

"ACTOR skillz! I'm A MAN! HE! HE-MAN! " Shouted Iruka to the ceiling. (11) Her co-workers slowly edged out the back door, keeping their eyes on the mad woman.

"ARRRRRRRGGHHHH!"

Iruka decided that even though she needed the extra money to supplement her teaching salary, it just wasn't worth the hassle. That was the tenth flippin' time Kakashi had been in here flirting with her! Today!

"HE!" Shouted Iruka in another effort to reassemble her masculinity.

Then, the r-complex of the brain took over, and she began to gnaw on the counter top in anger, growling ferally at the customers. (12)

**o**

As a Konoha ninja, you can.

**o _Scene Change_ o**

Like a good neighbor, Ninjas are there!

**o**

'The few, the proud, the Ninja.'

Another poor sap decided to dedicate his or her life to being a ninja after seeing the commercial.

(Secretly, it was all a conspiracy to provide willing blood for the black magic that the Akatsuki performed.(13) The Uchiha massacre was just the beginning.)

Itachi rubbed his hands in glee, jumping up and down for joy at the premiere of his baby, his idea, his brain child. The perfect plan for more blood.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

'Taste the ninja.' Said a whispery voice over the television.

Seconds passed.

"NARUTO! SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY! " Sakura bashed the helpless boy. (14)

A voice was heard, "I'm a MAN!"

Sakura and Naruto glanced around weirdly. Then focused on the t.v. As one, their kunai and bats hit the t.v. for ten straight minutes. War cries were heard and shouts of "It's ALIVE!" and "POSESSED! EMILY WAS REINCARNATED!" rang through Sakura's house.

After the ten minutes were up and the t.v. was pulverised, Naruto puffed back down onto Sakura's couch and asked the question that had been nagging him,

"Why did you invite me over Sakura?"

Maybe she decided to confess her undying love for him?

Sakura cackled behind her hand as her plan rolled in to play. "Why, dearest, I just wanted to see who could eat more apples. " Smile, no cackling now or Naruto might suspect something.

Wait for it... wait for it...

"I will! And I'll beat that Sasuke-teme!" Okay, so it wasn't a love confession... but it was the next best thing! A chance to prove himself to that smug teme. Punching the air above him as if it were Sasuke, the air decided it had had enough and pushed him down. A.K.A.: Gravity. But Naruto didn't know that the air wasn't a living entity. It wasn't his fault that his sensei made him think it, what with all that "Respect the Environment" crap. (15)

"Ne... why did you call me dearest? ... I knew you loved me!" Naruto threw himself at Sakura who unconciously dodged. Must be all that practice at dodging Lee.

But anyways, Sakura cackled openly now. If Naruto was stupid enough to think that the air was real, then he wouldn't figure her plan out.

The air decided it didn't like being disrespected twice in a row and suffocated Sakura, killing her efficiently and saving Sasuke.

Naruto sobbed over his first love and so did Lee who suddenly apparated. (16)

Gai-sensei was in the background, proclaiming something about how Youthful their tears were.

But...awwww... the poor cryongenic casket would go to waste... although I'm sure Ino would be more than happy to use it for Sakura's body.

Personal agenda? No, of course not. Never. Ino would deny it in a millesecond. Which is how we know she -would- use it. Milliseconds don't exist, stupid. (17)

So Ino creeped stalkerishly into Sakura's home and grabbed Sakura's body out from under Naruto's sobbing form, hugging the body to herself and sniffing at the pink hair like crack.

Except it _was_ crack. The best crack in the world. Because Sakura was secretly a crack-dealer to support her Sasuke-fetish! And was using her hair to test all different types of crack. That's why it was pink.

O.O

So Ino got doped up on Sakura's crack hair and walked around with her dead body until rigor mortis set in, binding Sakura's body to Ino's. So, women necrophiliacs aren't all that common, but Ino was pretty kinky. (18)

Anywho, by the time that the morgue police got to Ino, it was already too late. Sakura's body had melded to Ino. But that's all a story for a different time.

And she forgot the cryogenic freezer too.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

'Ninjas are forever.'

"Nuuuuuuuuuu!" Shrieked Orochimaru from his underground lair. He bashed all his snake whores against the stone walls in anger. "I was the only one who was supposed to have the secret to immortality! NO!..."

Sobbing filled the cavern... and dramatically, Orochimaru lifted up his head one last time and whipered, "Rosebud." (19)

So Orochimaru gave up on life, amid all his dead snake prostitutes, without a reason to live since everybody could do now, what he found out through years of hard-work. Plus, his snake women were all dead, slaughtered in his anger.

Itachi cackled, since all _good_ evil people cackle. And rubbed his hands in evil glee at the news that ninjas were the demise of Orochimaru.

"HA! Not only do ninjas provide loving, living blood for the Akatsuki's Black Works of Magic, but they also rid me of Orochi!(20) Take that! For dumping me for some snake slut!"

Itachi slapped a picture of Orochimaru making kissy faces with his perfectly manicured and laquered-purple hands. Then hegot some ropeandstomped offto findKisame.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

All the fangirls of Konoha were tuned into their t.v. on the exact same channel. Because, yes, they were zombies. Zombies who craved Uchiha eyes! And this channel that they were all tuned into, was the channel that gave them their orders.

The time for _Operation: Get Sasuke's Eyes_ was at hand!

A commercial came on.

A _ninja_ commercial.

For zombies.

'What would you do for a ninja-clan!'

That was their password! They must move!

As one, millions of Zombies, with the intent to ravage and suck on Sasuke's eyes, moved in the direction that their Uchiha Radars told them.

Sasuke Uchiha sat in the corner of his t.v. room. Huddled with all his Ninja Crunch boxes like stuffed dolls for comfort.

Yes, it was the end of life as Konoha knew it... just slightly different than he imagined it. The a_liens_ would get to him, and mess with his male-parts, and his ultra-cool hair that he spent five hours perfecting each morning, and mess up his Sharingan! Sasuke moaned the moan of the person who knows the apocalypse is coming, trying to take comfort in the cereal that he often thought he was unnaturally fond of.

Could the company have slipped.. _gasp_, dare he think it, **crack** into his beloved cereal? Then that would mean he was one step closer to being an examplary celebrity! All celebrities were addicted to crack! Why else would they wear hideously uncomfortable things like thongs?

No, Sasuke hadn't tried a thong on once... of _course_ not. It was a bikini... thong. **Big** difference there, of course.

So Sasuke denied, once again, his cross-dressing and gayness tendencies, as well as his burning passion to look sexy for his ninja.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

So the t.v. was on again.

There was another commercial.

A _ninja_ commercial.

'Do the ninja' (21)

Chouji stared in even more worshipful eyes at the commercial. What was he doing? With Shikamaru laying across his lap? He had to become a good ninja! Which meant many trips to Nin-Way!

That decided, Chouji flung the unconcious Shikamaru off his lap and charged out the door, forgetting he didn't know where Nin-Way was in his fleetness.

Five minutes later, a charging Chouji ran past Ino.

"What! Was that Chouji?" Intrigued as to why Chouji would be barreling alongdown the road, she enacted her ninja skillz and followed him, taking an extra whiff of Sakura's hair for her hourly dose of cr- she meant medicine. Wait. Crack medicine! Like that medicinal tobacco stuff. (22)

Perfect excuse if the police caught her.

She smiled the smile of a crack-addict who has no brains, because they're like those eggs -in the commercial- in the pan that have sizzled and died. Although the poor chicks were doomed from the time that their supposed father rooster was supposed to fertilise them.

Whizzing past Lee and Gai-sensei, Chouji and Ino ran and ninja-leaped respectively.

"YOSH!" The cry of the green plastic toys went up, "The Flower of Youth blossoms beautifully in you young padowan learners!"

They commenced in trailing after them, leaping youthfully like green frogs!

Gaara and siblings were calmly watching a quaking citizen pee their pants. Yes, some may have found this disgusting, but they found this quite entertaining. The way the fabric around the random guy's crotch absorbed the urine, spreading the dark circle. It reminded them of a pad! Or Charmin toilet paper!

Nothing going by at Mach 6 caught Gaara's eye. (23)

Now, normally others can't see people going by at Mach 6, but Gaara had Super Vision. It catalogued everything... which was why he knew that was Lee and several other random ninja... and then a crack bunny(24) smacked him in the face... and Gaara realised how in **Loooove** he was with Lee. How he couldn't wait to see if Lee was so energetic in the haystack, although he hoped he wasn't always so quick.

So Gaara chased after Lee, and Temari and Kankuro-- good gang flunkies that they were-- followed.

Chouji had sped all through town and he was tiiiired. Really. The only reason why he was always so lazy was that he had a crazy fast metabolism... so any actions he took would immediately burn up 500 calories a second. Which is why he carried constantly his precious bag of potatoe chips that were 20,500 calories a bag. (25)

So why was he looking for Nin-Way again? Oh yeah, to be the few, the proud, the ninja. (Somewhere, far-off, cackling was heard) 'You are what you eat' they say. 'Nin-way, Eat Stealth.' Simple deductive reasoning.

Which is also why he was at the Hyuugas. While Sasuke was smart, Neiji was a teensy bit more approachable. Just a teensy bit.

Okay.

Neji was just as approachable as Sasuke was... but he knew where Neji was right now.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

So Neji had the t.v. on.

Yeah, he seems like one of those guys who doesn't watch t.v., but he was secretly a t.v. addict. He also doesn't seem like the type to wear make-up, but he does to hide those imperfect bags under his eyes that come from watching the late-night infomercials. He even bought the stuff that hides the bags _from_ one of those infomercials.

A Hyuga wouldn't dare to show imperfections such as bags under one's eyes. It was... not fate's will.

So yeah, this was one of those rare times that he could sit in his chair and relax and watch t.v. during the daytime.

He glared at the zombies outside of his window and they shut up.

O.o Byakugan mind control... not that zombies really had minds to control...

So anyways, a commercial came on.

A _ninja_ commercial.

Which is why he shut those stupid zombie fangirls up.

Neji perked up as the commercial started. It was like a movie... only he didn't have popcorn, and commercials are fairly short.

'Kunai: $12

Shiruken: $25

Coming back from a sucessful mission: Priceless.'

Neji made a note on a Post-It to get more kunai and shiruken and stuck it in his pants. Yeah, he was a _real_ man, destined to never wear underwear... for they chafed.

Chafed very uncomfortably...

_sigh_... if only they made tagless underwear, then he could not-chafe in peace. (26)

_Sigh, _but it was not meant to be. Even when he tore off the tag, its ghost was still there... haunting him and chafing him. Yeah, Neji believed in ghosts. Especially underwear ghosts.

Ghosts chafed.

Chouji burst into Neji's room, bursting to ask a question.

"Where's Nin-Way!"

And there it was.

Neji looked expressionessly at Chouji, while inwardly chafing. Because people horning in on his t.v. time... _chafed_ him. Like underwear with tags. And ghosts.

"... I believe Sasuke-"

And Neji could say no more because Chouji with his entourage of ninja just... disapparated?

And it _chafed_ him... _chafed_ him unbearably that they would leave before he could finish. No matter, at least he was left with his preciousss... t.v.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

Back at the ranch- well, it was really a mansion, but that's besides the point- a t.v. was on in the room Sasuke was... sitting in. Particularly the corner of the room... because Uchiha don't cower, they make intelligent choices to find a position in which to defend easily.

So the t.v. was on. Because Sasuke decided that while he was waiting for the end of the end to come, he'd watch t.v.

Except now a commercial was on, interrupting his all-supremely-important Ninja Idol.

It was a _ninja_ commercial.

'Dude, you're getting a Ninja!' (27) said a surfer boy voice to someone who was about to receive the coolest ninja computer around.

Sasuke sniffed. No, he wasn't crying. Uchihas don't _cry_.

He was just allergic to the floor.

Nonetheless, his voice sort of wailed when he spoke to the world, "_I'm_ not getting a Ninja." Then he angsted about the unluck of dying by aliens.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

Chouji looked on at the... peculiar sight before him.

Everyone else just sort of stood on the sidelines looking pretty.

Neji had told him that Nin-Way was in front of Sasuke's house... but while watching the commercial, he had not seen any zombie shaped subs... Could this all be a mistake?

Nah, Neji was always right.

And, not seeing a cashier in sight, he grabbed the closest zombie sub to him, and sampled it.

_Crunch._

"Mm, mm, mM, mm, mMm... Toasty." went Chouji.

And finding the first morsel delectable, he couldn't help but take another taste, and another. And another.

And soon all was chaos as flames erupted out of nowhere! Zombies and fangirls were screaming, terrifiedly running around like rats or spiders or ants or cockroaches or rodents as an exterminator gassed them, as their Operation was being put at risk. But they couldn't do anything, because they were zombies and had no brains. (28)

So Chouji continued his mad eating frenzy.

His previous entourage of ninja just sort of stood on the sidelines looking pretty. Ino was even puffing her nose... with a suspicious looking clump of pink.

By the time the infamous Zombie/Fangirl Massacre was over, all that was left were blood streaks on the streets of the Uchiha District, a chubby boy picking his teeth with a bloody bone, and a miscellaneous group of ninja just sort of standing on the sidelines looking pretty.

**o**

_-Scene Change-_

**o**

Naruto apparated into existence in Sasuke's t.v. room...

He looked a little disturbed at Sasuke sitting in a corner, hugging some cereal boxes... but continued on with some important news he had to tell.

"Sasuke! Guess what!"

"I have good news!"

"... The end of the apocalypse isn't about to descend on us all and mess with our man-parts?" Sasuke asked hoarsely with crazy eyes that darted to a curtained window.

"...o.O... WTF! ... No! I just saved a bunch of money on my Ninja Insurance by switching to Ninco!" (29)

Then the Naruto universe just blew up. Yeah. It exploded like Princess Leia's world in Star Wars... except it wasn't just the planet, no, it was the universe. Because the air was fed up.

The End.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**Ending Notes**

Disclaimer:

I do not own- Captain Crunch, Post-Its (although Remy and Michelle have claimed to invent them), French's mustard, Trix cereal, The Hulk, SubWay, the Drug commercials or drugs, Milk, Snow White the movies or books, Hall's Defense cough drops, Mc Donald's, the Incredible Four or that one stretchy guy from the Incredible Four, He-Man, the Army, the National Guard, State Farm Insurance, Skittles, Frankenstein, The Exorcism of Emily Jones, Harry Potter or JK Rowling's ideas, time and milliseconds, crack, necrophiliacs, Kay Diamonds, whatever book the quote Rosebud came from, Zombies, Carl Sagan or "The Dragons of Eden",Klondike Bars (although I did eat one the other day), thongs, Mountain Dew, medicinal tobacco or California, Star Wars, Star Wars quotes, Star Wars characters, or Star Wars plot, Charmin, Over the Hedge or any ideas/characters affiliated with Over the Hedge, infomercials, Mastercard, Lord of the Ring or Lord of the Ring quotes/characters, Dell the computer company (although my Mom has some dill the herb), aliens, zombies, Quiznoe's, bone toothpicks, gravity, Geico, or Naruto the anime/manga and any characters/bloodline limits/plots/canon pairings/non-canon pairings/and anything else affiliated with Naruto the anime/manga.

For the benefit of those who just didn't understand, **or** who want to hear what I'll say on the text:

**(1)**- No, this is not a typo! Sasuke's one of those weird genius types who put Post-Its in their undies! -nods knowledgebly-

**(2)**- _Jutsu Cereal HQ_: Couldn't think of the brand of cereal Trix was... so naturally when I thought of Tricks, I thought of Jutsu... and wtv.

**(3)**- Mendokusai yo, basically means "How troublesome." I thought it would bring an interesting flavor to his speech, and I picked it up from another fan fic and was itching ot use it. n.n

**(4)**- Cryogenic casket: I'm sure most of you have heard of people being cryogenically frozen, yes? Sakura is weird and has on of those things to freeze people in her house. Do not question it. O.o

**(5)**- This is a brand of cough drops that had a commercial on t.v. so long ago... that I thought I'd put a note up. _Hall's Defense_ is what they were called. Helped ease sore throats, your basic cough drop, with vitamin c.

**(6)**- Can't really remember where this is from... Vonage? I dunno. Whatever it is, I don't own it. n.n

**(7)**- Can't remember what this is from either... some phone company. Don't own it.

**(8)**- Mc Ninja, the Irish-nin fast food restaurant: So Mc Donald's isn't exactly Irish... But it sure sounded Irish when I messed with it. n.n Besides, c'mon, Ronald has RED hair!

**(9)**- 'No dating kids if you're not one rules'- ya know, the whole 'jail bait' concept of kids/teens under 18 to those over 18.

**(10)**- Mr. Stretchy from the Incredible Four: Can't really remember his name and I can't remember if I'm even getting the group name correct. -.-U

**(11)**- 'Shouted Iruka to the ceiling': NO, of _course_ this isn't fourth wall breaking. n.n

**(12)**- R-complex: As quoted from the dictionary in the back of Sagan "The Dragons of Eden"- the "**R-Complex** or **Reptilian Complex** The evolutionarily most ancient part of the forebrain." Basically, it handles our more basic and primal actions and tendencies. Ergo, why Iruka is 'feral' and eating the counter top.

**(13)**- In a fantasy book I read recently, magic played a key part in it. Most important, was the effect of living blood, blood taken from a living being before it dies completely. I went a bit farther and said willing blood. Because although it might be that in some books, blood taken forcibly has more power... I thought blood given willingly would retain its properties instead of being tinged with fear.

**(14)**- "SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY!": Contrary to what perverts among you might think, Naruto just licked Sakura on the cheek. Delayed response time.

**(15)**- I do not support pollution, the destruction of natural habitat, the destruction of habitat for endangered animals, etc.

**(16)**- No, -shifty eyes- This isn't a Harry Potter reference. -shifty eyes-

**(17)**- Please don't take seriously the narrator. She used it for special effect.

**(18)**- Women necrophiliacs really _aren't_ all that common. It's just... ah forget it. If you know what a necrophiliac is, then you understand the complications that there would be... especially considering men necrophiliacs are more common.

**(19)**- "Rosebud" a character in a book said this right before he or she died.

**(20)**- Orochi: nickname. The fact that Itachi thinks Ninja were the demise of Orochi: Miscommunication and a Sanity-error.

**(21)**- HAHAHA! It's a new dance move! Groove and Do the Ninja! (Or you can be a pervert and entertain thoughts.)

**(22)**- Yeah, medicinal tobbacco is one of those controversial issues now, like medicinal beer was in the 20s. I think medicinal tobbacco is still legal in California or something.

**(23)**- Mach 6: Recently, I watched Over the Hedge, a rather entertaining movie. In it is a hyper squirrel. Very hyper. So hyper, he isn't allowed to drink caffeine... until his super speed is needed to have a boost. Therefore, they supplement him with a caffeinated beverage called Mach 6. Upon drinking this, he gets a sugar rush, the world shakes apparently, and he is going so fast, it seems time is at a stand still for him.

**(24)**- Crack bunny: an especially stupid plot bunny. It's on crack.

**(25)**- I know this is not true. But for my crack bunny muse, she decided to twist the chips potatoes.

**(26)**- Tagless underwear doesn't exist in Konoha. n.n I have made it so!

**(27)**- Dude, I have a Toshiba!

**(28)**- Zombies have no brains, which is why they're after eyes!

**(29)**- I don't like to curse, but it would have been OOC otherwise.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

M-4-M: So what did you think? Hate it? Love it? Did it make you burst out in laughter over and over and over and over again? Is your inability to laugh during serious occasions-- because this is constantly on your thoughts--disabled?

Please review and tell me what you guys thought, what your favorite part was, what your least favorite was. What I could improve on... etc.

REVIEW!

Domo Arigatou. -bows-

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**Final note from the author:** Looking back on all those warnings I put up, I can't believe I wrote this! -slaps face-


End file.
